


Stay with me

by allipl04



Series: Haikyuu Characters x Reader [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:52:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29507886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allipl04/pseuds/allipl04
Summary: When your mother suddenly dies, and your father's already gone, you have no one you can go to. Well except for your mothers younger brother Keishin Ukai. You had never met the man before considering the fact that you lived in America, and he lived in Japan. Ukai gladly takes you in, well more is forced to by your grandmother.When you arrived the school year had already begun for students in japan. Luckily for you, speaking Japanese was easy, considering that's all you and your mother had spoke to each other in.shortly after you start at Karasuno, you learned that your Uncle was coaching a volleyball team. Slowly but surely you start to feel welcome, but somethings holding you back.Will you be able to escape the chains of your mother, or will you stay trapped.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Updates every Sunday & Monday
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Reader
Series: Haikyuu Characters x Reader [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2180409
Comments: 7
Kudos: 24





	1. Say your Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> Underline = English  
> No Underline = Japanese  
> Okaasan = Mom/Mother  
> Otousan = Dad/father  
> Ojisan = Uncle  
> Obasan = Aunt  
> Ojiisan = Grandfather  
> Obaasan = Grandmother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Underline = English  
> No underline = Japanese

It was sudden. One minute you’re at school the next you’re in a hospital staring at your mother. She wasn’t moving or breathing, just lying there in a hospital bed. Dead

Your vison started to blur, and you realized that you had started to cry. Putting your hand to your face you felt the tears that had started to fall. You turned to the women that was standing in the doorway and stared at her.

She walked over to you and pulled you into her arms. you didn’t dare move, or even say a word. Just letting her hold you, as you’re tears continued to fall.

“Say your goodbyes Y/N.” The women said as she let go of you. You turned to your mother and stared yet again. You couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye because you knew she wouldn’t respond. So instead, you reached into my bag, and pulled out a picture.

It was a picture of your family. You, your mother, and your dad. You look at the picture one last time before, walking over to her and placing the picture in her hand.

You took one last look at her before turning around and walking out of the room. The women who was with you called out, telling you to wait for her, but you didn’t listen. You didn’t want to be in the hospital anymore. So, you just continued to walk until you reach the entrance. You didn’t like hospitals. It brought back to many painful memories

You looked back in the direction of your mothers room, hoping that she would come walking out, holding out her arms for you to run into. But she didn’t. And you weren’t expecting her to.

“come on Y/N let’s get you home.” The women said as she caught up to you.

You looked up at her in disbelief. You had never yelled at an adult, but what she said was unbelievable. “What home? I don’t have a home to go back to. Everything I had was just taken from me _._ ” You yelled, pointing to where you just were “ _I have no one else._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you can relate to this in anyway.  
> Please leave comments on what you think.


	2. Goodbye America

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally meet your uncle; Keishin Ukai when he comes to take you to Japan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Underline = English  
> No Underline = Japanese

The next couple of weeks were chaotic because child services was trying to find out if you had any family to go and live with. Well, it turned out that your mother had family in japan. So, when this was announced to child services, they had all agreed that you would be going to Japan to live with them.

At the time a child service agent was staying with you while all the arrangements were being sorted out. At the same time, you had started to pack suitcases and boxes full of items you wanted to bring. You grabbed two suitcases and pack them with all your clothes. Then took your mother’s suitcase and packed it with the pictures that hung on the wall. When you got to your family picture, it took one look at it, and grabbed it gently setting it down, with the others, not wanting it to break.

Items that weren’t yours ended up being sold, so you didn’t get to keep everything, but you had was enough make it feel like home. You decided to keep all the suitcases and boxes in your room, not wanting them to be mistaken for something to be sold.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

One night while you were sitting in you room sketching, the doorbell rang, and you heard a man speaking Japanese. Walking out of the room to see who it was, you saw a man who looked to be in his mid-twenties. He had died blonde hair that seemed to be pulled back by a thin black headband.

“Y/N, can you come here for a minute, please.” The agent; Ms. Miller called out.

“Sure.” You said, making your way downstairs. “Yes?”

“Can you please translate. I don’t speak Japanese.” She asked as she stepped back letting you see the man

“How can I help you?” You asked

“Is this where Mai Ukai lived?”

“Yes, it is. And may I ask who you are.”

“I'm Keishin Ukai. Mai’s younger brother.” He said.

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. That this man was your mom younger brother. They look nothing alike. “So, your my mothers’ brother. Well, it’s nice to meet you.” You said stepping back into the house, letting him in. “I'm Y/N.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Y/N.?” He said, stepping inside and taking off his shoes. “So, are you ready for tomorrow?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, pouring him a cup of tea/

“Did nobody tell you? We’re leaving for Japan.”

You turn to Ms. Miller and ask her what he was talking about. “Ms. Miller what does he mean, I'm leaving for Japan?”

“Y/N did you forget. Your moving to japan to go live with your family there.” Ms. Miller said as she poured herself a cup of tea. “I told you this a couple day ago, along with last week.”

“Oh, right I guess I forgot.” You laughed “Well if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to head to bed.” You bowed to your uncle and ran upstairs to your room.

Once you were in the room, you pulled out the small family photo you had kept. You stared at the photo, before hugging it to your chest, and letting yourself fall asleep.

*~*~*~*~*

Around 3pm you woke up to the sound of crickets coming from outside. It took a couple minutes for you to realized that your boxes and suitcases were gone. Sitting up quickly, you start to look around your bed for the small photo you fell asleep with. You sighed in relief when you lifted up your pillow to see the picture laying.

As you calmed down, you heard the sound of car door shutting, and footsteps approaching your room.

There was a gentle knock before Ukai opened the door to your room. “Oh good, you’re awake. We have to leave in 30 minutes to make it to the airport on time.” He said as he walked over to you. “I know it’s early, but you can sleep on the way to the airport, and you can sleep on the plane.” He brushed a few strands H/C colored hair out of your face. “I already took your boxes and suitcase to the car, so all that’s left is to get to the airport.” Ukai said.

“Ojisan. Thank you, for taking me in.” You bowed your head, making him laugh at your action.

“There’s no need to thank me.” He said, patting your head. “We are family after all, so we have to stick together. But who you should be thanking is your Obaasan. She’s the one that agreed to the whole thing.”

‘She looks a lot like her mother.’ Ukai thought as he walked of your room.

As soon as he left, you got out of my bed, and made your way over towards the backpack which you had kept. You quickly pulled out the change of clothes that you kept in it and changed.

You were wearing a black skirt that fell to your knees, and a light pink over-sized hoodie. You grabbed the black flats by your door and slipped them on. Stuffing your old clothes into your bag, you looked around the room one last time, checking to see if you missed anything. You looked over at the bed and saw your family photo laying there on your pillow. You quickly grabbed it and put it in your bag.

You zipped up the bag and slipped it on. You took one last look at your old room and said goodbye.

When you entered the living room you saw Ms. Miller crying. “Ms. Miller why are you crying?” You asked her

“Oh, I'm just going to miss you Y/N. It was great having you around.” She said wiping her tears.

You giggled at her response and gave her a hug “I’ll miss you too Ms. Miller.” You whispered in her ear.

“You ready to go Y/N?” Ukai asked, as he entered the room.

“Yeah, I guess.” You turned back to Ms. Miller to see her holding a small metal box.

“You almost forgot her Y/N.” She said as she handed you the box that held your mother’s ashes.

“Thank you.” You took the box out of her hand and gripped onto it tightly. In reality you wanted to throw that box right out the window.

You turned to Ukai and nodded your head. Signaling you were ready to go. When you got to the car, you opened the backseat, and gently tossed your bag in.

“Thank you for everything Ms. Miller.” You gave her one last hug and entered the car.

“You ready to go kiddo?” Ukai asked you as he got in the car.

“Yeah, Lets go.” You said. You gripped onto the small box Ms. Miller gave you and drifted to sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was about 4:15 when you arrived at the airport. Ukai woke you up, telling you that you were at the airport. You rubbed your eyes trying to wake yourself up. It took a couple minutes before you felt fully awake.

You grabbed your bag from next to you and put it on. When you stepped out of the car, you were met with the warm morning breeze. You took a deep breath in, admiring the multicolored sunrise.

It was the middle of May so that meant it was getting a little bit warmer since summer was right around the corner. The school year had already started in Japan, so that meant you would really be the new kid.

You turned to see Ukai taking out your boxes and suitcase and setting them down on a luggage roller. You grabbed the suitcase full of pictures and tell him that you’ll carry it.

He just shrugged and closed the trunk and locked the car.

When you got inside told you to take a seat and wait for him while he grabbed your tickets. You sat down in the seat next to where he placed his bag.

You looked down at your lap and realized that you were still carrying the small box Ms. Miller gave you. You knew it would be troublesome to be carrying it so you put it in your bag.

You watched as Ukai walked up to the counter, and hand a lady your boxes and suitcases. She put a tag on all of them and placed it on a conveyor belt with other bags, and suitcases.

Then she procced to type on her computer, then pulled out two tickets and a small book, and hand them to Ukai. He then bowed at the women and made his way back over to you. When Ukai got back, handed you the small book, and the ticket with your name.

“Here you go Y/N-chan. Now all you have to do is show them the book and ticket when we go through security.” He said grabbing his bag. “Now come on, or else we’ll be late.”

You followed him to the security line and copied exactly what he did. You handed the security man your passport and ticket and watched as he scanned both. He handed both items back to you and told you that you could go through.

After you got through security you followed Ukai down a large hallway filled with areas, where people could sit and wait for their planes. You both made your way to one of those areas and sat down in a chair.

You looked around the area and noticed a big window to your right. With that window there you could see all of the airplanes that were coming and going.

After about 20-minutes, you heard a woman speaking through the intercom telling people that the flight to Japan was now boarding.

“Come on Y/N. This is your plane.” Ukai said, extending his hand out for you to take.

You grabbed his hand along with your bag, and suitcase. You followed him up to the women and let her scan your ticket before walking onto the plane.

You followed Ukai down the planes aisles trying to find your seats. After a while of searching, you found your seats. Ukai took your suitcase and placed it in the compartment above you.

Once settled in your seat, you looked out the window to see airport employees putting suitcases into plane from below. You also watched as new planes pulled into the airport. You found all of it so fascinating.

After another 10-minutes of waiting you hear the flight attendant telling everyone to buckle up and to stay in their seats. The attendant went over what to do in an emergency, and where all of the emergency exits where.

Once they were finished, they thank everyone for flying on the plane service, and said to enjoy the 13-hour plane ride to Japan.

And you were off. Going to start a new life in japan without your mother. Part of you was happy the other part was sad, but there was nothing you could do about it.

You looked out the window to see the city getting smaller and smaller. “Goodbye America.” You whispered as you drifted off to sleep.


	3. Hello Japan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally land in Japan, and you start to feel more at ease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Underline = English  
> No Underline = Japanese  
> Obasan = Aunt  
> Ojisan = Uncle  
> Obaasan = Grandmother  
> Ojiisan = Grandfather

You slept through most of the plane ride to Japan. But when you woke up it wasn’t pleasant. You only woke up because you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

**_The dream that you were having seemed pleasant enough. Your mom was still alive, and to you it felt like she was. But when you went to touch her. She crumbled._ **

**_“It’s all your fault you know. You’re the reason why no one is around anymore.” She told you as she disappeared._ **

**_You looked around to see your dad. But when you reach out for him you disappeared as well._ **

**_“W-why. What did I do.” You called out to them._ **

**_But no one responded to your cries. It was just you and that endless ocean you were drowning in. You felt like you were being weighed down. Like something was preventing you from swimming to the top, so you could breathe._ **

**_At some point you stopped trying to swim to the top, and just let yourself be engulfed by the darkness._ **

**_And that’s when you woke up._ **

You jolted up from your seat, and look around at your surroundings, remembering that you were on a plane ride to Japan.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Ukai asked. “You’re sweating like crazy.” He grabbed a napkin and started to wipe the sweat away.

“I’m okay, Ojisan. I just had a bad dream. That’s all.”

He sighed in relief and ask, “Would you like something to eat?”

You grabbed the food menu and looked it over. “Yakisoba bun please.”

“Alright then.” He pressed the fight attendant button calling over a worker.

When the women arrived, he asked her for the food, and handed her the money for it. “Here you go Y/N” He said, handing you the food

“Thank you.” You said, opening the wrapper to the bun. “Hey, Ojisan how much longer until we arrive?”

He thought for a moment before saying “Maybe three to four hours. So not that much longer”

“Oh okay.” You looked out the window while eating the rest of your food. When you were done you pulled out a small sketch from your bag and started to sketch.

For the rest of the plane ride, I decided to draw in my sketch pad. I don’t consider myself a good artist, but others always said they look amazing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

About 20 minutes before the plane landed, a flight attendant got on the intercom, and announced that the plane would be landing shortly, and that everyone had to buckle up, and stay seated until the plane landed. When she was finished, you shut your sketch pad, and put it back into your bag.

When the plane landed, you and Keishin had to wait a while before you could get off. Considering that you were in the way back of the plane. When you were able to get out from your seats, Keishin grabbed your suitcase for the compartment and handed it to you.

On the way out you thanked the flight attendants. When the two of you got out of the plane you made your way over to baggage claim area to collect your boxes, and suitcases.

Once you had everything, you started to head towards the exit, when you heard someone call out the Ukai.

“Keishin! Over here.” You turned to see a woman waving frantically at the two of you.

“Okaasan.” Ukai exclaimed as he walked towards the older. You grabbed onto his bag, not wanting to get lost in the unfamiliar area. You hid behind Ukai for the most part. Since you didn’t know anyone it made you quite nervous.

“Oh, you must be Y/N.” She said as she tried to look at you.

“Okaasan, you’re gonna scared the poor girl.” Ukai said as he pulled you to his side. “Y/N this is your Obaasan; Kanna Ukai.”

“It’s nice to meet you Obaasan.” You said, bowing to her

“Oh, you are so adorable.” She said, bringing you into a hug. “You know, you really do look like your mother.”

When she let you go, you could feel the tears start to stream down your face. Your friends had often told you that you and your mother looked very similar. But you always laughed it off.

But now that it was coming from the person who had raised your mother. You couldn’t laugh it off like all the other times. You knew you looked like her, and you honestly hated that fact. It just reminded you that she was gone, but not really gone.

“Okaasan, you’ve made her cry.” Keishin said, wiping your tears.

“Oh, I'm sorry dear I didn’t mean to.” Kanna apologized. “Now how about we get you to home. I'm sure you’ll want to get use to the place.”

The three of you exited the airport and made your way to your grandmothers car. You help Keishin load all of your boxes and suitcases. Once that was done you hopped into the back seat and buckled up.

“You ready to go?” Kanna asked you

“Yep.”

“Okay. Let’s go home.”

As the three of you drove, you took the chance to take in all of the scenery. It was very pretty with all the Sakura trees that were in full bloom.

Even though your mom was gone, you couldn’t help but feel a small connection between the two of you. You felt a small smile grow onto your face. It was the first time you had since she died.

“Well hello Japan.” You whispered to yourself as you continued to look out the window.


	4. Volleyball club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go with Ukai to Karasuno for his evening volleyball practice. But he wasn't playing volleyball, he was coaching it

When you arrived at Ukai’s house, you took note that it was right above a convenience store.

“Do you own the store?” You asked Keishin

“Yes, we do.” He said with a smile “The stairs lead up into the house.”

You looked at him with curiosity in your eyes. You grabbed your bag and hopped out of the car. You quickly ran up the stairs and into the house.

When you walked in you where met with a small family area, a hallway, and a staircase leading downstairs. You immediately took interest with what could be downstairs, so that’s where you headed first.

When you walked downstairs, you were in another family area. Except this one was bigger. You walked around and made your way into the kitchen. You took note of where everything was placed, and how it was organized. 

“Y/N, where are you?” You heard your grandmother call.

“Coming.” You said. You ran up the stairs and down the hallway trying to find where your grandmother was. “Obaasan? Where are you?”

“Over here dear.” You heard her say from the inside the last room.

When you entered the room, you noticed that it was already fully furnished. It had a bed, a desk, a dresser, and a couple bookshelves already set up.

“We had already put some furniture in since we knew you were coming. So, I hope you like it Y/N.” Keishin said “Oh right, Obaasan already got your uniform for school, so that’s in your closet.”

You looked over at the closet and saw five sets of the same uniform. “So, this is my uniform for school?” You asked, pulling out a set. The uniform contained a white blouse, cream colored sweater, gray skirt, black blazer, and a red ribbon.

“Yep. I know you just got here, so we made arrangements for you to start school next week.” Keishin said, as he walked out of the room.

It was the middle of May, so school had already started for students in Japan. Since it was Friday, that meant students were still in school since it was around 2:30 pm. So that meant that there might be some students walking home from school, that you could see.

“Hey Ojisan. What school am I going to anyway?” You asked him, putting back your uniform, and following him out into the family area.

“Karasuno High. Its right over the hill, so its close by.” He said as he sat down on the couch and turned on the T.V.

“Oh, okay. I’ll be in my room unpacking if you need me.”

“Okay. Have fun.”

For the next 30 minutes I spent the time unpacking my boxes and suitcases. I put all my jeans, skirts, shorts, tights, and pajamas into the dresser along with my socks. I hung up all my shirts, sweaters, jackets, and dresses in the closet. Then I placed all my pictures on the book shelve and on top of my dresser.

“Hey Okaasan, I'm leaving now. I’ll be back in a couple hours.” You heard Keishin say. You walked out of your room to see where he was going.

“Where are you going Ojisan?” You asked him.

“Hm? Oh, I'm heading down to Karasuno, for volleyball practice.”

You tilted your head sideways a bit, giving him a questioning look. “Volleyball practice? You play?”

“Oh no. I coach the volleyball team.” He said with a laughed. “My volleyball days are over, kiddo. But if you want, you can come with me. It would give you a chance to meet some of the kids you’ll be going to school with.”

You thought for a moment before running back to your room and grabbing one of your small purses. “Okay, I’ll go. But if I don’t like it, I'm leaving.” You said slipping on your shoes.

“You’re a stubborn one aren’t you.” He laughed as he patted your head. “Alright deal. I won’t make you stay if you don’t want to.” He opened the door, letting you walk out. “Okay Okaasan, we’ll be back.”

“Alright have fun you two.” Kanna said as she closed the door behind you.

The two of you had decided to walk to Karasuno since it was still light out. As you got closer to the school, you could see how big it was. And noticed that it was much bigger than your high school in America.

As you got closer to the schools gym you could hear the sound of shoes squeaking, and balls thudding. As you stood in front of the gym, you suddenly felt a wave of nervousness rush over you.

When Keishin opened the gym doors, you quickly hid behind him as he entered. “Alright everyone. Line up.” He yelled

In a matter of seconds, twelve boys were lined up in front of Keishin. You still stayed hidden behind him, not want to really be noticed. But there is always that one person who is more observant than others.

“Ukai-san, who’s that behind you?” You heard someone say. You peeked out your head just a bit to see them and saw twelve boys standing in front of Keishin.

They were all very tall. Some even in the 6-foot range. So, you felt very intimidated. You know being 4’ 10” and all.

Keishin looked down at you, and laughed a bit, before pulling you to his side. “Everyone, meet Y/N. She's gonna be going to school with you all, starting Monday.”

“Hello.” Everyone said. You looked around at the group, and noticed a tall blonde starring at you form the back.

You gave him a small smile, but when you did, he turned his head away from you.

You let out a small sigh in defeat, but what you didn’t know was that he was trying to figure out what was wrong with you.

You looked up at Keishin with pleading eyes, but he just patted your head, and walked over to the manager; Kiyoko. And there you were. Surrounded by giants.

“So, Y/N-chan how do you know Ukai-san?” The silver haired male; Suga asked you.

You looked up at him the back at the ground. “well, he’s my uncle.” You mumbled.

It was completely silent for a couple minutes before you looked up at them. When you looked at their face, you almost busted into laugher at how they reacted.

“Ukai-san, you never told us you had a niece.” The small orange-hair boy yelled, getting Keishin’s attention and startling you.

“You guys never asked, so I didn’t say anything.” He shrugged making his way back over to you “And besides, I just found out that I even had one.”

Now everyone was surprised even Tsukishima.

‘How did he not know he had a niece?’ Tsukishima thought.

“Anyway, enough talking. Did you guys stretch, and warm up.” Keishin said getting everyone’s attention

“Yes, we did coach.” Brown haired boy; Daichi said.

“Good. We’re going to be working on receives today, so be ready for that. Now get your butts on that court.” Most of the boys ran back onto the court, while others just walked. “Y/N, why don’t you go and sit with Kiyoko.” He pointed towards a bench where a girl was sitting.

“But Ojisan, I don’t want to be hit with the ball. Can’t I stay with you?” You asked him, with pleading eyes.

“Y/N, I have to go and throw volleyballs at the boys for them to receive. So, if you’re with me you have a higher chance of being hit with the ball.” Keishin said, patting your head, and walking you over to Kiyoko “Hey, Kiyoko do you mind watching Y/N, she’s a bit nervous.”

“oh, sure thing Ukai-san.” She said patting the seat next to her.

You tightened the gripped on your purse and looked up at Keishin. He just smiled at you and walked onto the court. You turned to Kiyoko and saw her smiling “Here come sit. I promise you don’t have to be nervous.”

You nodded and sat down next to her. You watch the team practice and found it amazing on how good they were. When you looked over at Kiyoko you saw her jotting down notes in a notebook labeled “Volleyball Journal”

“Kiyoko-san, what are you writing down?” You asked her.

“Hm? Oh, notes. They’re for Ukai-san to read over that way he knows what to do for next practice to help everyone improve.” She said with a smile

“oh. That makes sense.” You said with a small laugh.

“Noya, look.” Tanaka said, pointing toward you two. “Kiyoko-san is smiling.”

“you’re right Tanaka. She looks like an angel.” Noya complimented.

“Hey, you two. Get back to practicing.” Daichi yelled at the two.

At 6:30 pm the team finished practice, but before they were allowed to leave Keishin wanted to discuss something with them.

All of them cleaned the gym, before sitting down I front of Keishin. “So, I'm sure you have a bunch of questions, but first things first.” Keishin said, making sure everyone was listening “You all know that the Interhigh Tournament is coming up. So be sure to study. That’s all.”

When Keishin dismissed them, a few actually left, but others decided to stay around to ask you some questions.

“So, Y/N we now know that you’re Ukai-san’s niece but where did you move from?” Suga asked you.

“Well, I moved here from America.” You mumbled

“So, is that why you were gone the last couple of days, Ukai-san?” Kageyama asked

Keishin looked up from the notes Kiyoko gave him and said “Yeah. I had to go and get her from America. She couldn’t fly on that plane alone you know.”

‘That explains why he didn’t know about her before. He had only just met her’ Tsukishima thought as he continued to look at you.

“Okay, so how about we get some formal introduction in here before you leave the poor girl clueless” Keishin said with a laugh.

“Oh, right sorry. I'm Sugawara Koshi. This is Sawamura Daichi.” Suga pointed toward Daichi, and you quickly took note on what he looks like. “And this is Asahi. We’re all third years. Along with Kiyoko, who you already met” Suga pointed towards Asahi, who’s hair was tied back in a bun.

“It’s nice you meet you.” You said with a bow

“I'm Hinata Shoyo. It’s nice to meet you Y/N.” He said while jumping up and down “The one with the grumpy look on his face is Kageyama. Um, the bean pole, is Tsukishima, and the one next to him is Yamaguchi. We’re first years, so I hope to have you in my class. It would be super fun if you were.”

You laughed at his excitement and look over at the others.

Kageyama and Yamaguchi waved at you while, Tsukishima just clicked his tongue and walked off, with Yamaguchi followed after him.

When Tsukishima looked into your eyes, he could see the excitement and wonder in them. But he could also detect the faint hint of sorrow hidden beneath.

“what’s his problem?” You whispered

“Who knows, he’s always been that way.” Daichi said with a laugh.

“I'm Tanaka.” He said, he had shaved hair that was a dark gray color. “And this is Nishinoya.” He pointed to his smaller friend who had dark brown hair that was spiked, and he had a bit of blonde hair that laid in front of his face.

“You know you’re very pretty” Nishinoya said, but then winced when Daichi hit him on the head.

You giggled at their action and said “Thank you, Nishinoya-san.”

“See Tanaka, she’s an angel as well.” That just earned him another hit on the head.

“Sorry about them Y/N. they can’t help how stupid they are.” Suga said, as he pulled both boys out of the gym. “Have a nice night.”

“Thank you and it was nice to meet all of you.” You called out to him.

Most of the others that stayed behind decide to go home. But Hinata and Kageyama decided to stay behind to do some individual practice.

“Hey, Y/N. I'm gonna head back to the house. Come back when you’re ready.” Keishin said as he walked out of the gym. But before he could fully walk out, he turned to Hinata and Kageyama as said “And you two idiots, if you’re gonna stay behind, make sure to lock up the gym, and club room.” He tossed a set of keys to Kageyama and walked out. “Oh, and can you please make sure Y/N comes home in one piece, thanks.”

The two boys shouted “Yes sir” at him before turning their attention towards you

“So, Y/N-chan do you speak English? Cause you seem to speak Japanese perfectly. Oh, can you say something in English please?” Hinata asked.

“Hinata, you dumbass, at least let her answer before you start asking her more questions.” Kageyama said as he smacked Hinata on the head.

Hinata let out small grunt before rubbing his head where Kageyama hit. “Sorry, I just got excited. So, do you speak English?”

“Yeah, I do. I used to speak it all the time.” You said with a nervous laugh

“Can you say something in English. Please.” Hinata asked, looking at you with pleading eyes

“Like what?”

“Anything, just say something cool.”

You thought for a minute before saying “Hinata-kun and Kageyama-kun are good at volleyball.”

Both boys looked at you in amazement. “Wow, that was cool, but personally I think I’m way better than Kageyama over here.”

“How the hell did a dumbass like you, understand her?” Kageyama asked Hinata

“Unlike you, Kageyama-kun. I actually passed English.” Hinata said as he stuck his tongue out at him. You couldn’t help but laugh at their petty argument.

“What are you idiots still doing here.” You heard someone say.

You turned to the gym doors to see Tsukishima standing there, with a smirk on his face

“Who are you calling an idiot, Tsukishima.” Hinata said, turning to the blonde

“You, two, obviously.” Tsukishima said as Yamaguchi snickered behind him. “And didn’t coach say that Y/N was to get home. Safely.”

You looked at Tsukishima and started to question his sudden interest in you.

“What does that mean? Me and Kageyama are perfectly capable of getting her home safely.” Hinata said as he looked at Kageyama, basically asking him to help him out.

“Are you sure about that. Cause between you two dumbass I'm sure you’ll end up taking a wrong turn, and not even get her home.”

You weren’t exactly sure what Tsukishima’s problem was. But one thing was for sure. You hated guys like him, but at the same time you couldn’t help but loved their personalities.

“Why does it matter to you who I go home with?” You asked him “Cause as far as I'm concerned, I’d rather walk home with them than a stuck-up asshole.”

Tsukishima bent down and looked at you. Then he stood back up and scoffed. “Whatever. Do as you like.” He said as he began to walk. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

But when he looked in your eyes, he knew he was right when he saw that hint of sorrow. Of course, he was always, typical Tsukishima.

“Hey, Tsukki, wait up.” Yamaguchi waved at three of you and ran after his friend.

You took a deep breath and calmed yourself down from that very scary encounter. “Jeez. What an ass.” you whispered turning to Hinata and Kageyama “Well, I got to get back home. I don’t know about you guys but I'm hungry.”

“Right. Wait here. We’ll change then walk you home.” Kageyama said as he walked out of the gym, with Hinata following after him.

About ten minutes later the two come running out of the club room, and towards the school’s gates. Running right past you.

“Hey, wait up.” You yelled at the two as you ran to catch up to them.

“Oh, sorry Y/N. We almost left you behind.” Hinata said

“It’s okay. I'm used to it.” You said as you caught up to them, catching your breath.

You looked up at them to see Hinata staring at you with a concern face. You realized what you had said and instantly regretted it. “Hey, don’t worry about it. Okay? Let’s just get home.”

As the three of you walked away, Tsukishima walked out form behind a tree and watch you walk down the street

‘What does she mean, by she’s use to being left behind. Who could have left you behind. It just doesn’t make sense.’ He thought, thinking about what you had said to Hinata.

Tsukishima started to walk away, looking up at the night sky seeing all the stars that were out.

“She’s a strange one. That’s for sure.” He whispered to himself. “And I want to know why


	5. She's a Strange One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you enter the gym Tsukishima cant help but feel like something wasn't right with you. Like it was his instincts telling him that. But he couldn't understand why he felt this was. Especially since he had just met you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishimas POV of when he first met you.

When the gym doors open, Coach Ukai walked in and told us to line up. It didn’t take rocket science to notice a second pair of legs behind Coach Ukai’s. I tried to get a look at who it was but, I couldn’t see. But one thing was apparent. It was a girl, no doubt about it.

“Ukai-san, who’s that behind you?” I heard Suga-san say, and suddenly everyone turned their attention to see someone’s head poke out from behind Coach Ukai.

I was right though. The person hiding behind Ukai-san was definitely a girl. “Everyone, meet Y/N. She's gonna be going to school with you all, starting Monday.” He said as he pulled her out from behind him.

There was something off about her. And it wasn’t because she just appeared out of no where with Ukai-san. Sure, that was a little weird, but who knows, he may just be introducing her to the volleyball club.

Everyone was quick to say hello, except for me. I was trying to figure out what felt weird about her. I didn’t notice that I was staring at her until she looked in my direction and gave me a small smile.

I instantly turned my head the other way, not wanting to seemed interest in her. “So, Y/N-chan how do you know Ukai-san?” Suga-san asked her.

It seemed that Ukai-san went to talk to Kiyoko-san, so Y/N was left all alone. Honestly, I felt bad for her but what could I do.

It took a couple minutes for her to respond, but when she did, she mumbled “Well, he’s my Uncle.” I don’t think anyone could have expected that.

“Ukai-san, you never told us you had a niece!” Hinata yelled getting his attention.

“You guys never asked, so I didn’t say anything.” Ukai-san said as he made his way back over to us. “And besides, I just found out that I even had one.”

Okay, now that was unexpected. How could he have not known he had a niece, that makes no sense. “Anyway, enough talking. Did you guys stretch, and warm up.” Coach Ukai said getting everyone’s attention.

“Yes, we did coach.” Daichi-san said

“Good. We’re going to be working on receives today, so be ready for that. Now get your butts on that court.” Coach Ukai blew his whistle, and everyone made their way back onto the court, some faster than others.

I looked back at Y/N to see her tugging on Coach Ukai’s shirt, obviously asking for something. I'm not sure what he said to her, but she obviously tensed up at whatever he said, and ended up sitting with Kiyoko-san for the rest of practice.

Practice ended at 7:00, so we all had to clean up, and put the equipment away but before we could leave Ukai-san reminded us that we had a trip to Tokyo coming up, and that we had to study hard, then he dismissed us.

For the most part everyone stayed and rushed to ask Y/N questions. “So, Y/N we now know that you’re Ukai-san’s niece but where did you move from?” Suga-san asked.

That question alone made Y/N very uncomfortable. She looked up at us then back down at the ground and mumble “Well, I moved here from America.”

So that explains why Ukai-san didn’t know about her. He apparently never meet her until recently. “So, is that why you were gone the last couple of days, Ukai-san?” Kageyama asked.

Ukai-san looked up from the noted Kiyoko-san gave and said “Yeah. I had to go and get her from America. She couldn’t fly on that plane alone you know.” Now that just confused me even more. Did she not come here with her parents? “Okay, so how about we get some formal introduction in here before you leave the poor girl clueless on who you guys are.” Ukai-san said.

Everyone introduced themselves, but when I heard my name being called from Hinata’s mouth, I couldn’t help but click my tongue. But when I looked at Y/N she was looking at my with big E/C colored eyes, full of wonder.

But even though her eyes looked curious, and even happy, they held a faint tint of sorrow in them. I clicked my tongue yet again and walked out of the gym into the club room, with Yamaguchi following after me.

“Tsukki? Is there something wrong? You seem a bit upset.” Yamaguchi asked as we changed out of our sports clothes.

“No, nothings wrong. I'm just wondering about Ukai-sans niece, that’s all.” I said as I slipped on my jacket

“Oh, that makes sense. She is new after all.”

As we left the club room, we were greeted with Suga-san and Daichi-san dragging Nishinoya, and Tanaka. “Have a good night you two.” Suga-san said as he threw Nishinoya into the club room.

“You too, Suga-san.” I bowed at him and continued walking. As we got closer to the gym, I heard Ukai-san, saying something to Hinata and Kageyama about getting Y/n home in one piece.

I walked over to the gym, and noticed it was only the three of them standing in there talking.

““Can you say something in English. Please.” I heard Hinata ask her.

She said something in English, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at what she said. But to my surprise, Hinata actually knew what she said. Then both Kageyama and Hinata started to argue, and that when I heard it.

I heard her laugh. She was laughing at their petty argument. The sound she made, was beautiful, that laugh felt like it was full of joy and laughter.

“What are you idiots still doing here.” I said as I stood in the gym door.

“Who are you calling an idiot, Tsukishima.” Hinata said as he turned to face me.

“You two obviously. And didn’t coach say that Y/N was to get home. Safely.” I said emphasizing the last word

“What does that mean? Me and Kageyama are perfectly capable of getting her home safely.” Hinata said, looking over at Kageyama

“Are you sure about that. Cause between you two dumbass I'm sure you’ll end up taking a wrong turn, and not even get her home.”

“Why does it matter to you who I go home with?” I heard Y/N say from in front of me “Cause as far as I'm concerned, I’d rather walk home with them than a stuck-up asshole.”

Even thought she was tiny; she was quite feisty. It was kinda cute. I bent down and looked at her. And I was right. There was a hint of sorrow in her eyes. Just a hint though so it wasn’t much. “Whatever. Do as you like, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I said as I walk away.

“Hey Tsukki, wait up.” I heard Yamaguchi yelled. “Tsukki what was that about?” he asked when he caught up to me.

“Nothing. I'm gonna go this way Yamaguchi. I’ll see you Monday.” I said as I waved to him and went in the opposite direction. I decided I would wait for Y/N in case those two idiots forgot her, so I stood under a near by tree, only a few feet from the school gate.

About 10 minutes later I heard the sound of footsteps running towards the school gate, and Y/N yelling at the two to wait up for her.

“Oh, sorry Y/N. We almost left you behind.” I heard Hinata say with a laugh

“It’s okay. I'm used to it.” She said. Then everything fell silent. What does she mean, by she’s use to it. Who could have left her behind. Why would anyone leave her behind. It just didn’t make sense. 

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” I heard her say with a laugh.

That laugh, it sounded forced. Like she was trying to hide something, but why. What would she have to hide. 

When they started walking, I hid behind the tree I was standing under. As soon as they turned the corner, and I couldn’t see them, I headed home.

“She’s a strange one. That’s for sure.” I whispered to myself. “And I want to know why.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki's to smart for his own good


	6. Its time for school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its you're first day of school. But it's hard being the new girl, especially, when your only friends are boys. Yeah that doesn't fly well with others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ojisan = Uncle  
> Obaasan = Grandmother

The weekend went by fast, and before I knew it, it was Monday. Meaning it was my first day of school. Over the weekend Ojisan was nice enough to go and buy me a smartphone, so that I could text or call him if I needed to, and so I could also get peoples phone numbers.

My alarm went off at 6:30 that morning. I turned over and grabbed my phone off of my nightstand and hit the snooze button. But that didn’t help, because Ojisan came into my room, and told me I had to get up. “Y/N, you need to get. You still need to bathe and eat.”

I groaned as I pulled the covers over my head. “But Ojisan, School doesn’t start until 8:30, and its 6:30. I still have time.”

“But Y/N if you don’t get up now, you’ll sleep until school starts, and you still have meet with your homeroom teacher.” Ojisan said as he pulled the covers off of me.

I groaned at the sudden coldness. “But Ojisan, it doesn’t take me that long to get ready. So, can’t I sleep a bit more.”

“Fine but don’t complain to me when your late.” He said as he threw my blanket back on me. “Anyway, I got to go Y/N. Just be sure you’re not late.”

“Okay. Have fun Ojisan.” I said as I wrapped myself in my blanket.

But now here’s the problem. I couldn’t go back to sleep. Stupid Ojisan, he knew that if he bugged me long enough that I would wake up.

“Oh, right Y/N, I need you to help Obaasan with the store when schools over, okay?” Ojisan said as he peeked his head into my room.

“Okay.” I said as I made my way to my closet. “Oh right, Ojisan. I wanted to bake after school. Is that okay.”

“Sure, just be sure to clean up when you’re done. Anyway, I got to go. Love you.” With that Ojisan ran out the door.

I headed to the bathroom and took a quick bath like Ojisan said to do. Then I dried my hair and brushed it out. “I think I should leave my hair down. What do you think mom?” And yet again, I took me a minute to realized that she wasn’t there. “I forgot, again. Didn’t I.” I laughed at myself as tears started to form in my eyes.

“What's this, you’ve already forgotten. Now that’s just pitiful.” I heard my mom voice, but when I looked around no one was there.

“I must be hearing things.” I said as I looked at myself in the mirror one last time. “I guess we’re leaving it down, then.” I walked out of the bathroom and into my room. I grabbed my uniform from off of my bed and put it on.

To be honest, I’ve never had to wear a uniform before so the concept of one was completely new to me. So, it took me a while to get it on, and then I had to go to Obaasan to help me with the bow since I couldn’t figure out how to put it on.

“Thanks for helping me Obaasan.” I said as I grabbed my school back and slipped on a pair of black knee-high socks, and my shoes. “Well, I'm off. I’ll see you after school.”

“Bye, have fun.” Obaasan said as she followed me out the door and watched as I walked up the hill.

I took my phone out of my pocket and it read 7:30. “Good I still have a bunch of time. Maybe I can drop by the gym to see Hinata-kun and Kageyama-kun.” I said as I slipped my phone back in my pocket and began to run.

Over the weekend I hung out with the first years from the volleyball team, which include, Hinata, Kageyama, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. They seemed to be really good friends with each other even if they did bicker with each other quite a bit. Well, it was mostly just Tsukishima picking on Hinata, and Kageyama. But still, I had a good time with them. They seemed like nice people, even if Tsukishima was being an asshole.

It didn’t take me as long to get to the school, since I was running, but when I got there I was totally out of breath. “I hate running. I hate it so much.” I groaned as I began walking towards the gym.

As I neared the gym, I saw a group of girls crowding around the gym door, whispering to each other. “Um excuse me.” I said as I approach them.

They all turned around to see me, and I swear to goodness gracious it felt like they were shooting lasers at me. I looked down at the ground, not really wanting to look at them. I heard them start to whisper again, and that just made me even more anxious, but then I heard the gym doors open, and the girls all gasped. I looked up to see Ojisan. I'm going to assume he was going to ask the girls to go away sine he looked pretty pissed, but his face calmed down once he saw me.

“Y/N, looks like you actually got up in time.” Ojisan said with a laugh, and all the girls turned and stared at me.

“Ukai-san did you say Y/N? Where is she?” I heard Hinata-kun say. “Oh, there you are Y/N-chan.” Hinata pushed past the crowd of girls and made his way to me. “Good thing you’re here, could you come throw up a few balls for me, and Kageyama please. I promise it won’t take long.” He said looking at me with pleading eyes.

. “I guess I could stay for a bit.” I mumbled. I couldn’t refuse. I would feel bad if I said no

“Yay! Thank you so much. Let’s go.” Hinata said as he pulled me past the group of girls and into the gym. “Oh, right be sure to take off your shoes.”

“Oh. Okay.” I took of my shoes and placed them by the door inside of the gym.

Yet again I heard whispers coming from behind me. I just got here, and I could already hear the rumors starting. I heard the gym doors close completely with a loud thud.

“Jeez. They should really start a fan club if they’re going to keep showing up here.” I heard Tsukishima say.

“Morning.” I said to him as I set down my bag and took off my blazer.

“Yeah, Morning.” Tsukishima said back, as he walked away.

Well at least he wasn’t being an asshole. “Y/N-chan, come on.” Hinata said as he pulled me onto the court, and over to Kageyama.

“Morning, Kageyama-kun.” I said with a smile.

“Morning.” He said as he turned and grabbed a volleyball.

“So, what am I doing exactly?” I asked as I grabbed the ball from him.

After the two explained what I had to do, we started practice. Well, more like they started to practice, while I just tossed up the volleyballs.

This continued for the next 15 minutes, before Ojisan told everyone it was time to clean up. “Y/N, don’t you have to head down to the faculty office?” Ojisan asked me, as I put back on my blazer.

“Hm? Oh crap, you’re right.” I said as I grabbed my bag and slipped on my shoes. “See you guys later.”

I ran out of the gym as fast as I could, and into the school, quickly stopping at the shoe lockers, and changing out my brown loafers for the green and white school shoes, then quickly walked to the faculty office.

When I got to the office, I stood there for a minute contemplating whether or not I actually wanted to knock or not. But I just ended up knocking, because I didn’t want to stand out in the hall any longer. Students started to give me weird looks as they walked, which didn’t help with my nervousness.

“Yes?” A teacher asked as when the door opened

“Um. I'm new here. I was told to come to the faculty office this morning.” I said.

“Oh right. I was told I had a new student.” She said as she back away from the door. “Why don’t you follow me.”

I nodded and followed her inside the room. “I'm Ms. Kanna. I'm gonna be your home room teacher. Which means that I’ll see you for 5 minutes in the morning and afternoon.” She opened a drawer in her desk and pulled out a folder with my name on it. “Ukai Y/N, correct?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She opened the folder and pulled out a piece of paper, that had my school schedule on it along with my class number. “Alright. Here you go. This is your schedule along with your class number. You should also know that all classes take place in your home room, and you only leave the class when going to gym, home economics, art class, etcetera.”

“Thank you.” I said as I bowed to her.

“Well, we should head to class. I'm sure you’ll get along with everyone.” She said as she stood up and made her way out of the faculty office, and over to the classroom.

Class 1-4 the sign read above the room. “Wait here for a moment. I’ll call you to come inside in a minute or two.” I knew this class was a collage prep class. I was in one before I moved here, so it was only fitting that I was in one now.

I nodded as she made her way inside as the school bell rang. “Alright everybody, take your seats please. I have an announcement.” I heard Kanna-sensei say.

I suddenly felt like I was gonna puke. Stupid nervousness. I hated new encounters. Sure, once I get to know a person better, I’ll start to warm up to them, but when I first meet people, I get super nervous.

“everyone, please welcome our new student.” Kanna-sensei said as she beckoned me to come inside. “Please treat them with respect.”

I was too nervous to look at the class, so instead I walked over to Kanna-sensei while looking at the floor. “Okay, why don’t you introduce yourself to everyone.” She said as she patted me on the back.

I looked up from the ground really quick, and immediately looked back down. “Um, I'm Ukai Y/N. It’s really nice to meet you all.” I said as I bowed. Yet again I heard whispers. It was really unsettling.

“Right. I expect everyone to treat Ukai-chan with respect.” She said, “Why don’t you sit in that open seat by the window.”

I nodded at her and quickly made my way over to my seat, while still looking at the ground. “Okay everyone. You have English next, so please be ready to go when Ishida-sensei, come in.” As she finished the bell rang, signaling that there was a small break before first period started.

I was so glad I wore my hair down. It really helped because I could basically hide behind it with how long it was. But that didn’t stop people from coming to talk to me.

But I didn’t actually want to talk to anyone. As I was walking to my seat earlier, I heard some girls whispering about how they saw me earlier at the gym, and how Hinata-kun had dragged me inside.

So, I wasn’t up for talking to anyone. So, when they started to bombard me with question, I answered quietly because I'm not rude. And once their curiosity was answer they retreated back to their seats, leaving me alone. And I was completely okay with that.

Apparently, there were 4 classes before lunch, which really sucked, because I was hungry. ‘Maybe skipping breakfast wasn’t a good idea.’ I thought to myself.

Soon enough all four classes were over, and the bell rang, signaling it was time for lunch. I sighed with relief, as I grabbed my bag to pull out my bento box, but it wasn’t there.

I put my head down on the table and groaned. “How could I forget my lunch. I'm gonna starve to death”

“Didn’t expect to see you here Y/N-chan.” I heard a familiar voice say.

I lifted up my head to see Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima standing above me. “Oh, Hi Yamaguchi-kun, Tsukishima-kun. I didn’t expect to see you here either.”

“Do you mind if we sit with you?”

“Sure. I don’t mind” I said as I put my head back on the table

“Y/N-chan, where’s your lunch?” yamaguchi asked as he pulled up a chair, and Tsukishima did the same.

“Funny story.” I said with a laugh. “I actually forgot it at home.”

“If you’re hungry, they sell sandwiches and other items in the cafeteria.” Tsukishima said as opened his bento box and began eating.

“No, I'm good. I'm not hungry, and besides, I don’t have any money.” I instantly regretted saying that I wasn’t hungry because my stomach said otherwise.

“Idiot. You need to eat something.” Tsukishima said as he closed his bento box “Come on. I’ll buy you something.”

I looked up at him with confusion, at his sudden gesture. “Are you sure. Cause if not I can survive until I get home.” And yet again my stomach beg to differ as it growled, basically telling me to accept his offer.

“Really? How are you gonna survive the rest of the day when your stomach keeps growling every thirty seconds.”

“He’s right Y/N-chan. You should really get something to eat.” Yamaguchi said. “So why don’t you except his offer.”

“Fine.” I groaned. “But it’s your treat Tsukishima-kun.

“what, why is it my treat?” He asked

“Because I told you I would be fine, but you keep insisting. So~ it’s your treat.” I said as I stood up. “But if you don’t want to, I'm sure Hinata-kun or Kageyama-kun would be more than happy to help me out.”

Messing with him was so much fun. I could tell from their interactions with each other, that the three of them probably don’t get along that well. So, when his face turned from calm to irritated, I knew I had gotten to him.

Tsukishima instantly stood up, and grabbed my arm, basically dragging me out of the classroom. “Fine. Just this once though.”

“Fine by me. But can we hurry, I'm hungry.” I said as my stomach growled once again

“And you said you could survive the day. He said as we entered the Cafeteria. “Anyway, what do you want.”

I looked up at the food items, and noticed, they had my favorite. “A fruit sandwich please.” I said as I looked up at him.

“Is that all you want?” He asked

“Can I get a strawberry milk?”

“I guess so.” He said as he asked for two of each item. I could only guess that the other ones were for him. He gave her the money and the lady handed him the two sandwiches and drinks. We bowed and thanked her then walked out of the room.

“Here.” Tsukishima handed both sandwiches and a drink to me. I wasn’t complaining but I was confused on why he gave me both sandwiches

“Why did you get two of sandwiches if you aren’t gonna have one.” I asked him

“You can’t honestly expect me to believe that one fruit sandwich will actually fill you up? No wonder you’re so skinny.” He retorted.

I puffed my cheeks and huffed. “Well, excuse me. It’s not my fault I have a small appetite. And I'm absolutely fine with being skinny for your information.”

“Yeah, well skinny is not always good for you.” He said as he opened the classroom door and walked in.

“Wait! What's that supposed to mean?!” I said as we sat down

“Nothing. Just eat, or else you really are going to starve.”

“Okay dad” And que the depressing thoughts.


	7. A Not so Bright Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is your backstory. It tells what happened to your dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter deals with suicide and a little bit of abuse, so feel free not to read it if you feel uncomfortable with the topics

I knew my parents fought a lot. It happened almost every day. The screaming, the sound of things breaking, and it always ended in a door being slammed shut.

I never knew who started it, but I always assumed it was my mom, because shortly after the screaming stopped, my dad always came into my room to find me hiding in my closet.

“Y/N, what are you doing in here.” My dad asked.

“I was hiding. I didn’t like the screaming.” I said to him as he picked me up.

“Well, you don’t have to hide anymore, because super dad is here to save the day.”

I always laughed when he said that. On those days he would end up sleeping in my room with me. And he would always hold me close when he. It put me at ease, knowing that he was there for me.

But when I was seven my dad committed suicide. And I was there when it happened

It happened after one of my parents usual fights. When my mom left, he came to my room to check if I was okay, but he didn’t say anything to me.

When he opened the door to my closet, he just stared at me. He looked as if he just saw a ghost.

“Daddy, what’s wrong?” I asked him

“W-what are you still doing here Mai. Did you want to see me end my life? Is that what you want?” He said

“Dad? What are you talking about?” I asked him as I stood up.

“No! You stay back. I don’t want you near me.” He ran out of my room, and into the kitchen.

And that’s when it happened. Without a second thought, he took a kitchen knife and just ended it all.

And all I could do was stand there. I was just a child; I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t stop him no matter how many times it told him to. I was powerless. Completely, and utterly powerless.

I just kept scream and screaming at him to stop. Even after he was completely lifeless, I just kept screaming, until our neighbor; Ms. Lila came into the house asking if everything was okay.

“Hello, Zachary. I heard screaming again and wanted to make sure everything was okay.” And that’s when she noticed me. “Oh my god. Someone call 911.” She yelled.

At this point I had stopped screaming. “It’s no use, Ms. Lila. He’s already dead.” I said bluntly.

“Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry.” She said as she pulled me into her arms. I felt numb. Like nothing else mattered.

After about 15 minutes an ambulance pulled up to our house. But he was already dead by the time they got here, so they couldn’t do anything.

Of course, my mom heard about it. she did care when I cried at first. She would hold me for a second, then let go. And I felt that was all I needed. But slowly she began not to care. Any time anyone would bring up my dad she would just ignore the subject.

One time my mom brought home a man I didn’t recognized. She said that he was her boyfriend. But he didn’t stay long. None of them did.

And once she realized no one would stay, So, she turned to abuse. She told me that no one wanted to stay with her because of me. That my dad committed suicide because of me.

I hated her. I hated her so much. And soon I started to hate everything about myself. I hated that I looked so much like her. From her hair to her eyes. I hated when I was told that I looked like her. Just being told that made me want to jump of a bridge.

But when she died, I regretted not trying to do more. But at the same time, I felt happy. I felt like I was free from her, but at the same time I didn’t. Every time I saw myself, I saw her. She was never really going to be gone.

But even after all these years later, I still don’t blame my dad for doing what he did. Because when he did, he looked so relieved. Like all his worries had just disappeared. He finally looked happy.

And I just wish I could feel the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again if this has happened to anyone I am truly and deeply sorry.


	8. Something isn't right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you start crying out of nowhere, both Tsukishima and Yamaguchi get worried and decide to ask Ukai about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Tsukishimas POV on what happened during and after lunch

After me and Y/N came back from the cafeteria, Y/N just started to cry. It was just out of nowhere. She wasn’t sobbing it was more like the tears just started to fall.

Both me and Yamaguchi didn’t know what to do, we’ve never dealt with a situation like this.

“Y/N. Hey Y/N.” Yamaguchi said as he gently shaking Y/N.

Y/N looked at both of us with such a confused look on her face.

“Y/N, are you okay?” I asked her

“Yeah, why would you ask that.” She said as she opened her sandwich packet.

“Well, your crying.” Yamaguchi pointed at her cheek which had a tear on it.

Y/N looked over at me questioning what my friend had just said. I lifted my hand to her face and wiped the tear off her cheek. She then put her hand to her face and felt the tears that were by her eyes.

“Oh. I guess I was crying, wasn’t I?” She laughed

Me and Yamaguchi looked at each other with concern, then looked back at Y/N. She was on her phone scrolling through social media whiling eating her food. “Are you sure your okay Y/N. It’s kind of concerning when you just start crying out of nowhere.” Yamaguchi said.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” She said looking up from her phone. “Really, I'm completely fine. I swear.”

“Okay. If you say so.” I said, going back to eating my lunch.

After lunch, we had our last two classes of the day, which were math, and home economics. Both of which went by painfully slow.

“Hey, Yamaguchi. Don’t you think Y/N has been acting weird ever since lunch.” I asked him on the way back to home room

“You’ve noticed it too.” He said. “I thought I was the only one.”

After about 10 minutes the bell rang signaling that school was done for the day. Once I was done packing up my things, I made my way to Y/N waiting for her to finish packing belongings

“Hey Y/N, are you coming to watch practice?” I asked her

“Not today, sorry. I have to help Obaasan at the store today.” She apologized.

“Maybe we’ll stop by after practice.” Yamaguchi suggested.

“Only if you guys want to. And besides, I have your numbers so you can always text me. Anyway, I got to go. Bye.” She said as she ran out the classroom.

“I see what you mean Tsukki. She is acting a bit strange.” Yamaguchi said as we walked out of class

“Yeah. Maybe Ukai-san will know.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After practice, we all cleaned up and put away the equipment. I made my way over to Ukai-san to ask him about Y/N. “Hey, Ukai-san, is everything okay with Y/N?”

He looked up from his notes and said. “Yeah. She’s okay. Why do you ask?”

“Well, you see.” I looked down at the ground hesitant to tell him about what happened at lunch. “At lunch, Y/N just started to cry, out of nowhere.”

He looked at me concerned, which made me a bit worried. “Well, she hasn’t exactly had the easiest life. I’ll say that.”

“Hm, what do you mean?” I asked him.

He hesitated for minute before he sighed and said “Well, not to long ago, she lost her mom. For her dad, I'm not exactly sure what happened to him.” He said as he put away his notebook.

“So, is that why she moved here?” I asked

“You would be correct. Since she had no one else to go to, my mom offered to take her in. I don’t know her whole story, so you’ll have to ask her if you want to know more.”

I didn’t know what to say. I mean, what would you say if someone told something like that. “Anyway, Tsukishima. You have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“Yes sir.” I walked out of the gym and up to the club room to get changed.

After I changed, me and Yamaguchi said goodbye to the others, and made our way to Sakanoshita, to go visit Y/N like Yamaguchi suggested.

Even though Ukai-san told me a bit about Y/N, I’m still getting the feeling that somethings wrong. Like something isn’t right.


	9. I'm okay but I'm not okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you tell Tsukishima and Yamaguchi about your parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains talk of self-harm. I am not encouraging self harm in anyway. It is a serious matter that can hurt you along with others.

Around 6:00pm the volleyball boys came into the store and ordered some meat buns. “Here you Daichi-san.” I said as I handed him a bag full of meat buns.

“Thanks Y/N.” He said as he handed me the cash for the food. He walked out of the store, and I went back to drawing in my sketch pad.

After about 10 minutes I heard the door open. “Welcome in.” I said as I closed my sketch pad.

“Hey Y/N.” Yamaguchi said as he walked up to me, and Tsukishima roamed around the store

“Hello you guys. So, can I get you anything? I asked.

“Nothing for me. We just came to check on you.” He said

“Hm? Why would you do that?” I asked him

“Well, that’s because it’s kind of concerning when someone starts crying out of the blue.” Tsukishima said as he set a strawberry shortcake on the counter.

“I told you that I'm fine. So please, stop worrying about.” I said as I scanned Tsukishimas item. “Anyway, that will be 300¥.”

“But Y/N, are you really okay.” Yamaguchi asked as Tsukishima handed me the cash

“I promise you that I am perfectly fine.” I told him

“Hey, Y/N. This might seem a bit personal, but can I ask you something?” Tsukishima asked me as I handed him the small bag with his cake in it.

“Sure.”

“Why did you move to Japan?”

Okay, I was not expecting that. “Um, just family things. That’s all.”

“So, where’s your mom and dad.” Okay now he was just pushing for answers, and I swear I’ve never wanted to hit someone more than I do right now.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yeah, why else would I ask.”

“Fine, but I swear if you say sorry, I'm gonna punch you.” I sighed and contemplated on either telling them the truth or just lying, but if he’s asking that probably means Ojisan already told them why I'm here. “I'm here because, they’re both dead.”

They both looked at me kind of concerned. I could tell Yamaguchi was trying not to say sorry, knowing it would upset me. “I had no one else in America, so when they found out about Ojisan, they all agreed I’d live here. So here I am.”

“But what about you’re dads relatives?” Tsukishima asked

“They wanted nothing to do with me. They cut ties with my dad after he and my mom got married.” I told him.

“Can I ask what happened to your parents. I mean like how they died.” Yamaguchi asked. “But you don’t have to answer, if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s fine.” I said with a small laugh “So let’s see. My mom, she died in an accident and my dad…” I honestly wasn’t sure if I should tell them. Not even my friends in America knew what happened to him. But I’ve gotten myself in to deep now. I took a deep breath and continued. “Well, my dad, he committed suicide when I was seven.”

I looked up at them both to see their reactions. I could tell Yamaguchi was on the verge of tears, and Tsukishima, well it’s Tsukishima so he didn’t look to unfazed but still he looked very surprised.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Tsukishima asked.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because of what happened with your parents. People go through something like that usually are not okay. Especially when someone commits suicide.” He said is a stern yet concerned voice.

“Do you know what happened with my parents, Tsukishima? Have you lived my life to figure out why I'm okay with everything?” I asked him. I could feel the tears starting to form in my eyes, but I tried my best to hold them in. “No, you haven’t. So, until you have lived my hell of a life and figure out why I'm okay with all of this. I suggest you stop asking me that stupid question.”

I knew it was a bad idea to tell them about my parents, especially my dad, so why the hell did I do it. Did I think I would grant me some sort of relief. Or did I do it because I wanted something out of it.

He just clicked his tongue at me and walked towards the doors. Clearly pissed “Come on Yamaguchi.”

Yamaguchi looked back at Tsukishima then back at me. I looked at him with a smile, basically telling him I’ll be all right. “See you tomorrow Y/N.” he said as he ran after his friend

“Yeah.” I mumbled as I watched them leave.

“Look, their leaving you too. It’s your fault you know.” I heard my mom say. I know she’s not here physically. But I can hear her, and it’s eating me alive.

“No. it’s not my fault. They didn’t have to leave, they chose to.” I said to myself. I walked over to the shop doors and locked the door and turned off the lights.

“they may have chosen to leave, but you drove them out.” I heard her say. Why can’t she go away. Why must is she still continuing to make my life hell.

“Just go away already!” I yelled out. I felt my knees go weak, and I fell to the ground, grabbing at my chest. I feel like I'm suffocating. Why is everything going black. Why am I all alone again.

“Y/N are you okay? I heard you yell.” I heard Ojisan say.

I looked over at him, and remembered he was still here. “Hm? Oh yeah. I'm perfectly fine. No need to worry about me.” I said as I stood up from where I fell “Anyway, I'm going to take a bath.” I walked past Ojisan and up the stairs.

“Don’t take long. Dinner will be done soon.” He hollered from the bottom of the stairs.

“Okay.” I quickly grabbed some clothes from my closet and walked into the bathroom. I started the bath and undressed. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw all the millions of light-colored scars across my arms, and upper thighs.

“These will never go away, will they?” I asked myself as I looked down at my arms. “When was the last time I touched a razor? Maybe a week or two ago.”

I looked at myself one last time before becoming disgust at myself with how many scars there were. I hopped in the bath and let myself sink into the warm water.

After about 15 minutes I finished my bath. I hopped out of the bathtub and grabbed my towel drying myself off. Once I was dried off, I put on my sport bra, and underwear. Then put on a pair of black shorts, and one of my large over-sized hoodies.

** *Flashback* **

When I first started to cut, I had to learn how to hide them. At first, I would always wear long sleeves or sweaters. Then as I started to cut more, I started to wear over-sixed sweater to cover the top half of my legs when I wore shorts. And I guess it’s sort of become a habit.

So, we all know that my home life before wasn’t that great. Honestly, I only started cutting to get my moms attention. I thought if something major happened to me she would finally care, but I was so wrong.

Why would she care. The only times I would see her is when she would come stumbling through the front door, drunk out of her mind. I hated when she did that. It always ended up with her passing out as soon as she walked into the hallway. Then I would have to drag her to her bedroom, and make sure she was changed out of her clothes which always reeked of alcohol.

After I realized she didn’t care, I started cutting myself. Not for attention, but for some sort of relief. Something to make me feel like I was alive. This continued for years. From when I was about 11 to when I was 15. I only stopped because of child services. If they found out, I would be put in a mental hospital, and that is the last place I want to end up.

** *End Flashback* **

“Y/N dinners ready.” I heard Obaasan yell from the kitchen.

“Coming.” I hollered back. I walked out of the bathroom, and into my room, placing my dirty cloths into my laundry basket, then made my way to the kitchen.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After dinner I headed up to my room, to try and do my homework. Since I had just transferred, I didn’t really know what I was supposed to do. I needed help, but I didn’t feel like asking Tsukishima, or Yamaguchi.

Tsukishima’s probably still mad at me, and if I ask Yamaguchi, he’s probably going to tell Tsukishima. In the end, I just gave up and decided to go to bed.

‘all I have to do is tell myself that I'm okay. If I tell myself that enough times I’ll start to believe.” I thought. 'But what if I'm not okay. What then?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not approve self-harm. It's not a good way to feel better. trust me nothing good can come out of it.


	10. Crushing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you and Tsukishimas make up but little did you know that Tsukishima's little fan club was watching

**Tsukishima POV**

I walked out of Sakanoshita really pissed. I was just trying to understand her better. I didn’t mean to offend her.

“Tsukki, wait up.” I heard Yamaguchi say.

As he caught up to where I was Ukai-san was walking by. “You guys going home now?” Ukai-san asked.

“Yes, we are. We just came by to see Y/N.” Yamaguchi told him

“Well, you guys go and get a goodnights sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” He said

“Yes sir.” Both me and Yamaguchi said. Ukai-san walked to the side of the store where I assume the employee entrance is.

“Let go Yamaguchi.” I said but before we could walk off, I heard a scream. It sounded like Y/N

“Just go away already!” I heard her scream. Since we weren’t that far from the stores doors, I could see her pretty clearly.

She had collapsed to the ground, gripping her chest, and her breaths were shallow. She was looking around like she had just lost something. I had started walking towards the door but stopped when I saw her look up. Then she ran out of sight.

“Do you think she’ll be alright Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked me as we started walking home.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine.” I told him. “You can always text her and ask.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Yamaguchi laughed,

Something bothered me about her whole situation. Part of it didn’t seem right. Especially since she was actually okay with it all. But it isn’t my place to butt in. If she wants to tell me then she will.

**Y/N POV**

Around 7:00 my alarm went off, signaling that it was time to get up. I grabbed my phone and turned off my alarm. I turned over on my back and stared at the ceiling. “I don’t want to go to school.” I groaned “Especially with what happened yesterday.”

“Y/N, time to get up.” I heard Obaasan say from the hallway.

“Okay, Obaasan.” I said. I rolled out bed, wrapped in my blanket and shuffled over to my closet, pulling out my uniform. “Socks, or tights? Which one?” I mumbled to myself. I looked at both then looked at my phone to check the weather. “Looks like it’s going to be a little cold. Tights it is.”

I put on my uniform and tights. I looked at myself in the mirror and pulled down my sleeves just slightly. “Ready for the day.”

I grabbed my school bag, shoving my books and homework in it, then made my way downstairs to the kitchen. “Y/N, breakfast.” Obaasan said as she placed a plate of toast and fruit on the table.

I sat down and said, “Thank you for the food.” I looked at my phone to check the time, and noticed I still had an hour or so before school started. “Obaasan do you need some help in the store this morning? I still have a bit of time before I have to leave.”

“No, I don’t. You don’t need to worry about that Y/N. Just go and have fun.” She told me, placing a bento in front of me. “Here you go. I know you didn’t have a lunch yesterday. You were in such a rush, that I wasn’t able to give it to you.”

“It’s okay Obaasan.” I told her as I place the bento in my bag. “Thank you for the lunch though.” I stood up from my seat and rinsed off my plate, putting it in the sink. “Anyway, I should get going. I’ll see you this afternoon, Obaasan. Love you.”

I kissed her on the cheek and ran up the stairs and out the front door, slipping on my flats as I did. “Maybe I’ll spend lunch with Hinata-kun and Kageyama-kun. But I need help with my homework. Maybe I’ll ask the teacher.” I mumbled

The closer I got to school the more I wanted to run back home. Sure, I was good at school, but it doesn’t mean I like it. As I walked in the school gates, I noticed all the girls standing by the gym yet again. ‘Is this like a daily routine for these girls? Is their someone they like in there?’ I thought to myself.

I decided not to bother with those girls. The looks I got from them yesterday was enough to kill and I didn’t feel like dying on my second day of school.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I don’t know which I hated more. Not being able to talk to anyone or the fact that I didn’t understand a single thing. I swear I had never had a harder time in school. I'm efficient in most subjects, but I really struggle in Social Studies.

“Yamaguchi-kun can you help me?” I asked him during our independent studies

“Sure. What do you need help with.”

“Social studies. I'm struggling.”

“Sorry Y/N. I'm not that good at Social Studies.” He apologized. “But Tsukki is. Maybe you should ask him.”

I looked over at where Tsukishima was, and saw him looking out the window with his headphones on. ‘Well, he must be done with his work.’ I thought

“Maybe. Well, thanks anyway, Yamaguchi-kun.” I said.

“No problem, Y/N. Just let me know if I can help you with anything else though.”

I walked back to my desk which was right in front of Tsukishima’s. Covenant, right? Yeah, no. I felt like he had been staring into my soul for the last 4 classes. I decided to try and figure out the assignment on my own, but I was having no luck. So, I did the only reasonable thing.

I gave up. I lay my head down on my desk in attempt to just scroll through my social media. But something or someone decided to bump in me, which caused me to flinch at the sudden contact. I looked up to see that it was just a classmate that walked by.

A couple minutes later the bell rang for lunch. I quickly grabbed my bento out of my bag and made my way out of the classroom. I didn’t feel like getting stared at for the duration of lunch.

As I walked past the other classes, I heard someone yell my name. I turned to see Hinata running towards me, and Kageyama following close behind him.

“Y/N-chan, where are you going?” Hinata asked.

“Oh, um I don’t actually know.” I said with a nervous laugh. “I was just looking to get out my classroom.”

“you should come with us then. We practice volleyball after we eat lunch.” Hinata exclaimed.

I looked over at the taller of the two, then back at Hinata. “Sounds great.”

“This way then.” Hinata walked ahead with Kageyama following behind him. ‘They must be really close. It seems like they spend ever second with each other.’ I thought as I followed them to the courtyard.

The two of them quickly ate their lunches, and then started to pass the ball to each other. “Hey, can I try?” I asked them.

The two looked over at each other then back at me. “I don’t see why not.” Kageyama said.

Kageyama showed me how to receive and set the ball. But then Hinata was telling him that he should let me spike it. Then the two started an argument on which was better; setting or spiking.

I back down on the ground and watch the two bickers back and forth ‘They’re so lively. If only I had that type of energy.’

After another 10 minutes the bell rang, which caught both Hinata and Kageyama’s attention. “I'm sorry Y/N-chan. I know you wanted to try volleyball. But stupid Kageyama got it in the way.” Hinata apologized

“It’s okay. It’s fun to just watch anyway.” I told him “Well, we should be getting back to class.” I stood up, dusting off my skirt and grabbed my bento. “Anyway, see you guys later.”

I waved bye to the two and walked into the school building. As I made my way into class, I was met with a very angry looking Tsukishima. Right when I was about to say something, he just clicked his tongue and walked out of the class.

“Well, that’s the last time I try apologizing for something.” I mumbled to myself, making my way to my seat.

“You know, it’s your fault on why he’s mad at you.” There she is again. Hurray. Just when I thought she would show up today.

‘It’s not my fault.’ I thought. I sat down in my seat and pulled out my math book.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Finally, school is over.” I mumbled as the bell rang. I leaned back in my chair only to be met with Tsukishima towering over me. I yelped as i lean forward so I wasn’t under him, but we ended up bonking heads.

“Ow. What the hell Tsukishima. Why were you looking over me like that.” I asked him as I rubbed my forehead.

“We need to talk Y/N.”

“Why? Early it seemed pretty clear that you didn’t want to talk to me.” I told him, grabbing my bag, and standing up

“See this is why no one wants to stay with you. You’re selfish.” Why can’t she go away.

“Just go away already.” I said. I didn’t yell, but it made everyone turn and stare at me. “I have to go.” I started walking but before I could get to far, Tsukishima grabbed my forearm.

“Y/N, I think that we really need to talk.” He said with concern.

“Hey, will you let go already. It hurts you idiot.” I said trying to free myself from his grip, but he wasn’t letting up. “I said it hurts. So, let go.”

“Not until you agree to talk to me.” By this point everyone seemed to head out of the classroom. Leaving only me and Tsukishima.

“I told you I don’t want to. You made it clear earlier that you didn’t want to, so why would you want to talk now.” I said through gritted teeth. “Now let go, you are seriously hurting my arm.”

“Can we just talk. Please Y/N” He said loosening his grip.

“No, we can’t now let go. Your gonna make me bleed you stupid idiot.” That got him to let go. I rubbed my arm and looked up at the taller.

“What do you mean bleed?” He asked me

“Did you not realized how hard you were holding on to my arm. I swear you were gonna make my arm pop.” I told him. “Okay, bye.” I started to walk towards the doors, ignoring whatever he was trying to say.

“Y/N, don’t just walk away from me.”

“What, I can’t hear you.” I plugged my headphones in and started to play my music. Then next thing I know, there he is again standing over me.

I looked up at him, placing my hand on my hip, and taking out my headphones. “If your going to say something, hurry up. I want to get home.”

“I'm sorry.” He mumbled.

“I'm sorry? What did you say.” I teased. I heard him perfectly well, but I wanted to hear him say without mumbling.

“I said that I was sorry.” He said looking down at me. “I didn’t mean to offend you yesterday. I was just trying to understand.”

I couldn’t help but smile. Was the stoic, mean looking Tsukishima actually being nice? “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean too.”

“So, are we good?”

“Sure.” I laughed a little before playfully punching him in the arm. “Anyway Tsukishima, see you tomorrow.” I walked out of the class feeling a little bit better, now that I know Tsukishima wasn’t mad at me.

** Third person view **

As the whole thing between you and Tsukishima went down, you guys had no idea that there was a couple of girls watching you two from the hallway.

They couldn’t hear what the two of you were talking about, but they knew something was going down.

“Maybe it’s a love confession?” one of the girls said

“No way. That girl has only been her for two days. No way they could have known each other before she started. Beside she said she moved from America.” Another said.

“Do you think they hooked up? Like they did the nasty?” this first girl said.

“No way. You know Gina likes Tsukishima-kun. If she caught wind of this it would mean big trouble for the new girl.”

“What’s this about the new girl and Tsukishima-kun?” And just like that said girl; Gina appears.

“In there. Just look.” The first one said. “They seem to be having a serious conversation.”

“Maybe we should interrupt them?” the second one suggested.

“Now, Hana. That would be just cruel.” Gina said to the second girl Hana. “let’s see how this plays out.”

They watched for another minute or two before hiding in the nearest hallway. The three watched as you walked out of the classroom, and down the hall.

“She seemed, happy.” Hana said

The three peeked inside the class to see if Tsukishima was still inside, but they found it empty. “Guess he went to practice.” The first girl; Kaori said

The three girls ended up just going home, but little did you know that they intended to make your life hell.

Well more than it already was. But they didn’t know that.


	11. Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You start to get notes in your locker. And one note set you in a dark place which you hoped never to see again.

The day after me and Tsukishima made up, I found a note in my locker. Which was very interesting. It wasn’t anything to bad, per say.

‘ _So, what did you do to have Tsukishima-kun at your side all the time? Do you like all the attention he gives you? What an attention whore.”_

That’s what the note said. I was so confused. Tsukishima and were just friends, nothing more nothing less. Sure, we talked in class, and he helped me out a lot with schoolwork, but other than that he never really played any attention to me. At least I don’t think so, but what do I know.

“What an interesting note.” I mumbled to myself, as I walked to class. I shoved the piece of paper into my school bag, not really wanting to see it. I didn’t need that sending me in a frenzy.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

For the next couple of weeks, these notes continued. Every note with a worst insult.

_‘You probably screw Tsukishima-kun, to make him pay attention to you. He never pays any attention to anyone else. So why you.’_

_‘Now, it’s Kageyama-kun from class 3, and Hinata-kun from class. Who’s next all the boys in out grade.’_

I would be lying if I say that those notes didn’t hurt. I was just friends with these boys, nothing more.

I never showed anyone these notes, and I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to burden anyone. But as these notes continued, they sent me into a dark place. One that I hoped never to see again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hey Y/N.” I look up to see a blonde girl standing in front of me.

“Um, do I know you?” I asked the girl, while packing up my books.

“I'm Gina Hata. I sit right over there” She said pointing to a seat by the doors.

“Okay? Can I help you with something?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out with me and my friends after school. I noticed you don’t really have friends.”

I honestly can’t believe this girl. She had the audacity to say that I don’t have friends. I turned my head to see if Tsukishima would help me, but he wasn’t in the classroom, and neither was Yamaguchi. ‘That’s just great. Now I have to get myself out of this situation.’ I thought

“That’s nice of you to offer, but no thanks. I have to work after school.” I told her

“No, you don’t.” She told me, with a smile.

Okay, now she was really starting to piss me off. “What do you know about what I do after school?”

“Well, I know that you go and watch the volleyball team practice after school, and you do the same thing in the morning.”

“You’re real funny, Hata. You’re acting like some stalker.” I laughed. “Well, now if you’ll excuse me. I actually do have work to attend.”

I stood up from my seat and walked out of the classroom leaving Hata alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

And I thought my life couldn’t get any worse. This note was honestly the worst by far.

‘ _Now you got the whole volleyball team at your beck and call. I want to know, are you screwing them all? Is that why they pay attention to you? Was Tsukishima-Kun not enough for you, you slut. Maybe you should just end it. Then you wouldn’t be such a burden’_

This one was a little more personal. It said something that I’ve heard all too often.

“I’m home.” I announced, as I walked through the door, taking off my shoes.

“Hello, Y/N how was you’re day.” Obaasan asked me.

“It was okay. How about you Obaasan.”

“Mine was just splendid. How come you aren’t with Keishin. I thought you usually stay behind and watch those boys practice.”

“Not today. I thought it would be best to get an early start on my homework. Don’t want to do summer lesson cause I failed. That wouldn’t make mom happy.” I laughed

“I suppose you’re right. Well, I’ll be in the store if you need me dear.” Obaasan walked back downstairs and through the door to the store.

Yeah. I wasn’t doing homework. That was a complete and utter lie. Instead, I was doing something much, much worse. Something I promised myself I would never do again.


	12. Somethings not Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima sees your change in behavior. Then after one certain encounter he felt like something defiantly wasn't right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Tsukishima's POV

The day after me and Y/N made up, she started to act strange. Well, she was already strange, but it was more like something was bothering her.

Her strange behavior continued for the next couple of weeks. And everyday it seemed like something bothered her more and more.

Usually Y/N would show up, help out and watch us practice after school, but she seemed to be doing that less and less.

But that never stopped my growing feelings for her. I loved everything about her. From her snarky attitude to her overall personality. Sure, she could be annoying from time to time, but I was okay with that. Considering I have to put up with it in club. But since she’s cute I put up with it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

One day after classes, I left the class to take out the trash leaving my bag in the classroom. When I went back to get it, I noticed Y/N and some girl talking.

“That’s nice of you to offer, but no thanks. I have to work after school.” I heard Y/N say

“No, you don’t” The girl said

“What do you know about what I do after school?” I could tell that this girl was starting to piss of Y/N.

“Well, I know that you go and watch the volleyball team practice after school, and you do the same thing in the morning.”

“You’re real funny, Hata. You’re acting like some stalker.” I heard Y/N laugh. “Well, now if you’ll excuse me. I actually do have work to attend.”

When Y/N walked out of the classroom, she walked right past me. I don’t think she noticed me because of how pissed she was.

I walked into the class to grab my bag, and that girl started to talk to me.

“Oh, Tsukishima-kun. What are you doing here so late.” She asked me.

“That’s none of your business.” I told her, grabbing my bag.

“H-hey. That’s not nice.” She said as she grabbed my uniform sleeve. “I was just wondering what you were doing after school. I wanted to know if you could hang out.”

“I'm sorry, but do I even know you?”

“I-I'm Gina Hata. I'm in your class.” She laughed

“okay? Well, I must be going.” She let go of my sleeve and I started to walk towards the door.

“So, are you able to hang out?” She asked once again.

Could she not get a hint. I turned to her with a blank almost angry expression. “No, and I don’t really want to.”

“You’re gonna hang out with Y/N, aren’t you?” She said in a confident voice “Is she good in bed? Is that why you pay attention to her?”

Now this girl was really starting to piss me off. “What I do and who I hang out with is none of your business. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

I stormed out of the classroom really fucking pissed. That girl knew nothing. I wasn’t even in a relationship with Y/N.

We’re friends, but I want to be something more. But not at the expense of her happiness. She's been through enough trauma in her life, and she didn’t need more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hey, Y/N. Are you coming to watch practice today?” I asked her as we walked towards the shoe lockers

“I’m not sure. I need to get a few things done before summer break.” She said, switching her shoes.

“Oh. Well, I guess I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” She walked out the school doors, and I walked towards the club room to get changed for practice.

And there she was again. That same girl who was trying to get in my business. Except this time, she had two others with her.

They were all standing in front of the gym doors whispering to one another.

“Excuse me. Can we get through?” I asked the trio who was blocking me and Yamaguchi way in.

“It’s Tsukishima-kun, and Yamaguchi-kun.” One whispered.

“Can we get through please. We have practice to attend.”

“R-right. Sorry.” All three moved out of them way.

We walked into the gym and shut the doors behind us, not really wanting a fan group to watch.

“Those girls really seem to like you Tsukki.” Yamaguchi said

“Yeah, well I don’t like them.” I said.

Something still didn’t feel right. Earlier when Y/N was switching out her shoes, just for a moment her face looked traumatized. Like she was seeing or hearing something she didn’t’ want to.

Just seeing her face like that, it made my heart break. She dealt with enough hard ships in her life, and I didn’t want to see her go through more of that.

So why. Why did she make that face. What could have possibly made her look so sad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is a little short. I'll try to make the next chapters longer


	13. Festival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata invited you to come to a festival.

The next morning, I woke up, in absolute pain. I rolled up my sweaters sleeves and looked down and saw bandages covering my forearms. “Right. I forgot I did that yesterday." I muttered to myself.

“Hey, Y/N. You up?” I heard Ojisan say from the hallway.

I quickly pulled down my sweaters sleeves and looked over at the door. “Good morning Ojisan.”

“Yes, good morning. I wanted to know if you’re coming with us to Tokyo for summer break.”

I thought for a minute remembering that they volley team is playing in the interhigh tournament right now. “If you want me too. I don’t what help I’ll be.”

“It’s not a problem. If you want to come you can, it’s all up to you. Anyway, breakfast is ready.” Ojisan walked down the hallway and out of my line of sight.

I sighed, laying back down. Summer break was happening in a month and a half. Apparently, the volleyball team is going to Tokyo for a week then coming back to Miyagi, then going back to Tokyo for another two weeks.

Ojisan said that they’ll be going to Tokyo for some summer camp. The only reason he asked if I wanted to come along is because I don’t have many friends, so he knew I would probably be lonely.

I rolled over onto my side and covered myself with my blanket. I just laid there engulfed in a sea of darkness.

Well, that was until I heard my phone buzz. I reached my hand out and grabbed my phone off the nightstand and brought it into my little fortress.

I turned it on to see that Hinata had texted me

** From Hinata-kun **

**-Hey Y/N**

**-I wanted to know if you would want to come and hang out with me and Kageyama today**

**-we were planning on going to a festival**

** To Hinata-kun **

**-Sure**

**-I would love to come with you guys**

**-what time do you plan to meet up?**

** From Hinata-kun **

**-We planned to meet up at in front of Sakanoshita in an hour**

**-we can always wait if you have something to do**

** To Hinata-kun **

**-No, I don’t have anything to do**

**-I guess I’ll see you guys in an hour**

** From Hinata-kun **

**-Okay** **😊**

**-Sounds like a plan**

**-see you in an hour**

I looked at the text I had just sent and mental cursed at myself. “Why did I agree. I feel like absolute shit.” I muttered, tossing the blankets off of me.

I walked over to my closet and pulled out a red hoodie and a black overall dress. I slipped off my pajamas and put on my outfit, making sure my sleeves were long enough to cover my hands; hiding the bandages that wrapped my arms.

I brushed out my H/C hair, deciding to leave it down, but I grabbed a black scrunchie from my collection, just in case I wanted to tie it up later.

I looked at myself in my mirror making sure that my overalls overed the top half of my thighs, and gave myself a thumbs up approving my outfit.

“Are you really going out dressed like that? What if they see all the bandages you have on or what if they see all the scars of your legs. What then? How will you explain those?” I heard my mom taunt.

Even when she’s dead she criticizes my outfit choices. “I think I look fine. My dress is long enough that it covers the top half of my thighs, and I'm wearing a sweater, so they won’t see.” I said to myself. “No need to worry. No one will find out.”

I grabbed my small backpack, and stuffed my phones charger, my headphones, and two rolls of bandages. “Just in case.” I grabbed my phone and put it into my overall pocket

I walked out of my room tossing my bag by my shoes. I walked downstairs into the kitchen to see Ojisan sitting at the table with a cigarette, and a newspaper, and Obaasan was at the sink washing dishes.

“Good morning Obaasan.” I said giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Good morning Y/N. Your breakfast is on the table.”

“Thank you.” I sat down at the table and said, “Thank you for the food.” And started eating.

“What has you so dressed up Y/N? Are you going somewhere?” Ojisan asked me, putting out his cigarette.

“Well, Hinata-kun invited me to go with him and Kageyama-kun to a festival today. I hope that’s okay.” I said

“I have no problem with it. Daichi and Suga mention something about going to a festival last week. I wonder if they invited everyone?” Ojisan said “Well, anyway you go and have fun kiddo. But don’t get into any trouble.”

I giggled at his words “Don’t worry, I won’t.” I stood up and placed my plate in the sink. “Anyway, I'm off. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay, have fun.” Obaasan said as I ran up the stairs.

I grabbed my bag, slipped on my flats, and ran out the door. I walked down the stairs and noticed Tsukishima standing by the vending machines with his headphones on.

I walked over to him, being careful not to be noticed, but that backfired.

“I can see you, ya know.” He said turning his head toward me, taking off his headphones.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” I apologized.

“Why are you sorry?” He asked me.

“I-I don’t know.” I mumbled

“Anyway, I assume you’re coming with us to the festival.”

“Yes, Hinata-kun invited me. He said him and Kageyama-kun were going to a festival and asked if I wanted to come. So, I agreed, not like I had much going on.”

“I see.” He said putting his headphones back on.

I sat down on the sidewalk and pulled out my phone. I decided to scroll through social media, waiting for the others to arrive.

“Tsukishima, Y/N!” I looked up to see Hinata running towards us, with Kageyama close behind him.

I put my phone back in my pocket and waved at the pair. “Hinata-kun, Kageyama-kun. Hello there.”

“Were you waiting long?” Hinata asked me, crouching to the ground to sit in front of me.

“No, I only got here a couple minutes ago.” I said with a smile.

“Well at least you weren’t waiting long.” Hinata said, smiling at me.

Hinata sat next to me and Kageyama sat down next to him. The three of us talked while Tsukishima decided to stand behind us, while still having his headphones on.

After another couple minutes the rest of the volleyball club arrived. “Hello you four.” Suga-san said, waving at us.

“Hello.” I said waving at him.

I noticed Yamaguchi walk up to Tsukishima and begin talking to the blond. Tsukishima had taken off his headphones when he noticed his friend walking to him.

“Y/N-chan, you look super cute in that outfit!” Nishinoya exclaimed

“Yeah, Noya’s right. You do look really cute.” Tanaka chimed in.

I giggled at their compliments. “Thank you, Tanaka-senpai, Nishinoya-senpai.”

“An angel. She’s an angel.” Tanaka said, looking up at the sky and Noya doing the same

“Hey, stop that you two.” Suga said, hitting the two on the head.

I laughed at their actions, finding it funny how they acted with each other. “So, shall we go to the festival?” I asked the team.

All of them nodded, with the exception of Tsukishima, who didn’t seem to care for the situation.

“Come on Y/N. Lets go and have some fun.” Hinata exclaimed.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” I smiled, standing up and dusting off my dress.

Hinata grabbed my arm and started to run. I could hear Kageyama yelling at him from behind us. I just laughed at the two and started to run beside Hinata that way he wasn’t dragging me.

I looked back to see everyone following us, some running, others walking.

‘This is going to be fun.’ I thought as I continued to run.


End file.
